Rina's Reviews: Bzzagent Book Review: The Dark Monk

 Since this book was read and reviewed as part of a BzzAgent campaign the review is posted at my personal review blog rather than here. But please feel free to comment here on it if you are inclined to comment.

Rina's Reviews: Bzzagent Book Review: The Dark Monk: The Dark Monk: A Hangman's Daughter Tale, By Oliver Pötzsch ★ ★ ★ ★☆ Blurb from Amazon:  1660: Winter has settled thick over a sleepy...

Findings: How to Write a Sex Scene

First of all, if you haven't read Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series, I highly suggest that you do. Don't let the size of the books scare you - they are rather long but trust me, it's worth it.

All of that aside, this was posted on Facebook on Miss Gabaldon's page. It was written by her earlier this year and I have to say that I love all of the points that she makes. So check it out!

Review: Beauty by Lisa Daily

Beauty by Lisa Daily
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



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Via Goodreads:

What's it like to be the most beautiful girl in the world?

Molly desperately wants to be beautiful. And that's what she tells Dharma, the mysterious portrait artist who sketches her face at the town fair just minutes after she's humiliated in front of Hudson, the guy of her dreams. When Molly wakes up the following morning, she's the most beautiful girl in Miracle, Ohio. Babies coo in her arms, her house fills with flowers from dozens of drooling boys, and she's chosen to be a model for the hottest store in town. Best of all, Hudson finally falls for her.

But Molly soon discovers that beauty--and her wish--comes with a price. She's faced with an impossible choice: Will reclaiming her true identity mean letting go of Hudson for good?

I know that you've probably wondered the same thing before. I know that I have. How would people react to me if I were the prettiest girl in the city? Would things be different for me? Would people treat me differently than they do now? Would I get more attention?

In this book by Lisa Daily, she shares just what happens to one girl when she wishes to be the most beautiful girl in the city.
  
The Characters:
The main girl in question in Molly. She's the one that wished to be the most beautiful girl in Miracle. From what I gathered, she was a typical ugly duckling before - frizzy hair, pimples, an dis-proportioned face. I related with her at first as I myself was that girl in high school (okay, so I didn't have pimples but I had braces) and found myself wondering the same thing. My biggest problem with Molly was that she didn't really evolve much until the end of the book. She started off with really low self esteem, even when she was suddenly beautiful, snuck around trying to hide her face from her parents and turned into a typical mean girl in an attempt to get people to like her.  It was only once she had lost almost everyone that she realized what she truly had become. And whereas I was happy that she did finally come to that realization, it seemed like a last ditch effort.

Her friend Hayley made me want to strangle her. She started off as a mean girl at the beginning of the book despite not being in the popular crowd. To me, she came off as really needy and clingy and showed horrible signs of jealousy when the spotlight wasn't on her. The lengths she went to for attention were just worthy of a good head shake (or possible full body shake - hers preferably). And in the end, it didn't seem like things were really worked out with her - we were left hanging on what happened to Hayley.

Kemper was the truest character in the entire book. She's the one who seemed to have a level head on her shoulders despite everything going on around her. She's the one who managed to stay the true friend despite being constantly pushed to the side and ignored. I think if everyone had a good friend like Kemper, they'd be much better off. She ended up being my favorite character in the book.

I wasn't sure what to think about Hudson. I was happy to see in the end that he liked Molly for who she was on the inside rather than the outside but it didn't really settle with me. I can't really put my finger on why. Hudson was a mere "meh" character for me. He didn't stand out at all or make a lasting impression on me.

As for the rest of the characters, the students of the school came off to me as a bunch of sheep. They all were clambering around for a chance to be near Molly. It almost made me think that none of them could think for themselves. And whereas I knew they were teenagers, it seemed a bit overdone.

5 out of 10.

The Plot:
I have to admit that the plot was definitely one that caught my eyes as I've thought the same thing before. And to be honest, I think that Miss Daily definitely took the most thought about solution to what would happen if this really did occur. Amongst the pages of teen angst and mean girl-itis she did manage to lay out a good lesson - beauty is on the inside and outside. You may not think you're beautiful but someone else does.

I do think the students were a bit overdone in their reactions although the way they reacted upon finding out Molly had "plastic surgery" was pretty spot on as many teenagers these days tend to fluctuate depending on the day of the week. And I know that it was probably meant to be overdone a bit to prove a point but it was a bit headache-inducing after a while.

All in all, I give it a decent score, mostly because it was a lesson that could be used in life.

6 out of 10. 

 I won't say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was an easy read and had a decent, if not Mean Girl-esque storyline. I feel as if it were rushed a bit and that it was more dramatic than it should have been but I would give it a thumbs up for a light read over the weekend, especially for those who enjoy happily ever after stories.

Review: Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues by Diana Rowland

Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues by Diana Rowland
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



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Yes, be shocked. I read not one but two zombie books within the span of two days.Of course it's technically the same thing as it's the continuation of Angel Crawford's story but details, people. Mere details.

Via Goodreads, yo:
Angel Crawford is finally starting to get used to life as a brain-eating zombie, but her problems are far from over. Her felony record is coming back to haunt her, more zombie hunters are popping up, and she's beginning to wonder if her hunky cop-boyfriend is involved with the zombie mafia. Yeah, that's right--the zombie mafia. 

Throw in a secret lab and a lot of conspiracy, and Angel's going to need all of her brainpower--and maybe a brain smoothie as well--in order to get through it without falling apart.

Since this is the second book in the White Trash Zombie series, I won't do it like I normally do a review. Instead, you'll just get my thoughts.

First of all, I will say that I adored Angel in the first book of this series. She definitely captured my interests and I was looking forward to reading more about her during her journey of settling in to the zombie life. So by the time I finished this book, I was officially hooked. Angel grows even more in this book. She's really putting her life together and discovering things about herself that she didn't seem to realize before. She's finding her niche I guess you could say.

Of course, she has that pesky probation officer she has to meet with and sure she has to get her GED or otherwise be thrown back in jail, but that doesn't seem to slow her down one bit.

However, I started to dislike Marcus even more in this book due to the sheer way he treats Angel - it's like nothing she says is taken seriously by him. And she points this out to him midway through the book only to be blown off. He redeemed himself in the end a bit but I still felt as if Angel could do better boyfriend-wise, that she could find someone who treated her like an equal, especially with everything she had managed to accomplish in the end.

I disliked Marcus' uncle with a passion for reasons that I just cannot explain other than I managed to wrinkle my nose every time he was mentioned. I had trouble believing he was a good guy if that makes sense. Ed redeemed himself as well, proving that he wasn't the bad guy that everyone thought he was and I was grateful that he did what he could to help Angel and her father. But most importantly, I really started to like Angel's dad. He was trying to better himself in this book after seeing Angel do so. It was nice to see that bond start to repair itself throughout the book. Redemption seemed to be a really strong subject in book #2.

As for new characters, I wasn't crazy about Sofia and was a bit annoyed that her story was left somewhat hanging when she was abruptly killed. It was never really pointed out in clear terms if she was a good or bad guy even though I was leaning towards double-agent since she appeared to be playing both sides. And the new doctor grated on my nerves. I had hoped Angel would kill her in the end like she did the head of security but on the flip side, it opens up room for a third book.

All in all, the characters remained true to their selves from the first book. The new characters added a nice tension to the storyline, which was just as wonderful like the first book. I was a bit worried as the second installments of a series tend to lose a bit of the spark that the first installment ignited but this book proved that theory wrong. It one again kept me on the edge of my seat, adding in new twists and turns that the first book left out and made it impossible for me to stop reading. 

Best part of the entire book? When Angel promptly said "Braaaiiiins." My husband thought I had lost it upon bursting into laughter.

I do hope that Miss Rowland is planning on a third installment of this series as I'd love to read more about Angel and see what trouble she could get into. This is a definite must-read!

Review: My Life As a White Trash Zombie by Diana Rowland

My Life As a White Trash Zombie by Diana Rowland
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



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I'm going to start this review off by saying that I don't normally read zombie books. Zombies creep me out and face it, if there ever was a zombie apocalypse, I'd be one of the first to die because I'd run out of people to trip as bait.

That being said, I thought I'd give this book a chance after reading the summary on Amazon. It sounded cute - well, as cute as a brain-eating zombie could be. And I was also sold on two other things: one, the main character's name is Angel, which just so happens to be the name of one of my best friends and two, it took place in Louisiana, my home state. And come on, I needed a break after the headache of the last book I read - one that preferably didn't involve an inner goddess fretting about the Red Room of Pain.

So, let's get down to the summary via Goodreads (seriously, you really should join this site):

Angel Crawford is a loser

Living with her alcoholic deadbeat dad in the swamps of southern Louisiana, she's a high school dropout with a pill habit and a criminal record who's been fired from more crap jobs than she can count. Now on probation for a felony, it seems that Angel will never pull herself out of the downward spiral her life has taken.

That is, until the day she wakes up in the ER after overdosing on painkillers. Angel remembers being in an horrible car crash, but she doesn't have a mark on her. To add to the weirdness, she receives an anonymous letter telling her there's a job waiting for her at the parish morgue—and that it's an offer she doesn't dare refuse.

Before she knows it she's dealing with a huge crush on a certain hunky deputy and a brand new addiction: an overpowering craving for brains. Plus, her morgue is filling up with the victims of a serial killer who decapitates his prey—just when she's hungriest!

Angel's going to have to grow up fast if she wants to keep this job and stay in one piece. Because if she doesn't, she's dead meat.

Literally.

The Characters:
I would like to start off the review by saying that I absolutely adored Angel from the start, despite the whole loser drop-out status. She was quick-witted, sharp and stood her ground. Sure, she was a bit stubborn but so am I so I don't see this as being a real fault. Don't argue with me - I won't listen.

I loved how Angel matured throughout the book. You could tell just from the way she reacted to things that she was learning how to not just jump into things but rather think them out logically. She was quick on her feet and very observant about her environment. And most of all, you could tell that Angel wanted to change, that she wanted to better her life. That she truly was trying. For that, I respected her greatly.

As for Marcus, to be honest, I wasn't all that crazy about him. Yeah, he seemed like a great guy but it always came off to me like he didn't really put a lot of faith in Angel. I knew something was up with him throughout the book although I didn't want to jump to conclusions (I was right, though) and when I found out in the end, I still wasn't crazy about him. I hoped this would change with the second installment.

The other characters were well-written. I think they played well off of Angel. Angel disliked her father for the way he treated her and you got that vibe while reading about him. Ed came off as someone who seemed like the good guy yet you were still a bit wary around him. Derrell was like the supportive older brother who also doubled as the personal cheerleader. I even started to like Nick even though he could still be a jerk when he wanted to be. All in all the characters were well-rounded, well-written and entertaining.

9 out of 10.

The Plot:
I have to honestly say that I've never sat down and wondered just what would make a good zombie plot as most of the zombies I've read about just slink along going "braiiiiins" and trying to eat every human in sight. See what Nintendo games do to you? So I can definitely say that I wasn't expecting such an entertaining plot upon seeing this was a zombie book.

I love how it was a story of discover (an amusing one at that) as Angel tried to get used to the idea that she was in fact a zombie but on another note it was a mystery plot. Someone was going about killing people and beheading them and Angel took it upon herself to find out who. The story was full of twists and turns that I wasn't expecting and therefore made it impossible for me to put the book down. It's rare I finish a book within a day but I had this one completed in under 24 hours and was off to purchase the second one.

I will, however, say that I could have done without the image of her mixing her brains with tomato soup. I've completely lost the urge to eat tomato soup from now on.

9 out of 10.

Miss Rowland is by far one of the better YA writers I have read. She's entertaining, has a way with words (and descriptions - ugh, tomato soup) and knew how to write the twists and turns in the story that held your attention. I look forward to reading many more of her books and I will definitely be checking out the second book to this series as I can't wait to see what happens to Angel the zombie next.

And I now know that not all zombies are bad. Well, as long as they stay away from my brain, that is.

Book Tour: Free Kindle Book Particle Horizon

From the blood and dust of New Jerusalem, the Legion of the LightBringer wages a galactic war against those who would replace their god. Now, the time has come for the Union of Free Worlds to make a stand. The front line is the idyllic asteroid world of Angelhaven, where the greatest mind in human history has discovered an elemental power with far-reaching implications. A power that both sides will do anything to harness.

Marine commander Gomes leads the crack Union task force. An unrelenting warrior driven by revenge and a need for answers, he hides a strange ability neither science nor religion can explain.

On the other side of the war, Aja is forced to fight for a cause she doesn't believe in to protect her own secret.

Caught between them is Una, a living machine who battles for her humanity as her world falls apart.

Outnumbered ten to one and stalked by a mysterious nemesis, all three will play a role in unraveling Angelhaven's enigma.

As the Legion invasion begins, unknown eyes watch with interest...

To finish off the tour with a bang, Selso Xisto is offering his debut novel, Particle Horizon, for free on Kindle during July 4th, 5th, and 6th. Click here to get your copy! 

Review (and feature!): Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
My rating: 1 of 5 stars



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You know, I should have known this was a very bad idea from the moment I knew this originally began as a Twilight fanfic. I really should have. That alone should have sounded the alarms right then and there - alarms loud enough that the next state could have heard them and called me up going "Hey, do you hear those? Don't do it, for the love of all that's holy!"

But if you know me well, you know that I apparently love to torture myself. I hated the Twilight series with a passion for so many reasons that we really don't have time to cover that review so of course it made perfect sense for me to read "Fifty Shades of Grey", right? Yeah, don't question my logic because honestly, I think it packed it's bags halfway through Chapter One, bought a one way ticket to Tahiti and left me to fend for myself.

Okay, so for those who are unfamiliar with the story - or as I like to refer to as "you've obviously been living under a rock ever since these glorious novels burst upon the scene of bookworms everywhere (do you have room for me under there with you?)" - it's about a 21 year old girl named Anastasia Steele who is graduating college and moving off to the big city of Seattle with her friend Kate. Anastasia, for the lack of a better description, is a bumbling idiot who has no self esteem, tends to be abnormally clumsy and doesn't find herself at all attractive - despite the constant mention of an "inner goddess" - all unlike her perfect roommate Kate who is pretty much the complete opposite of that.

At the beginning of the novel, Kate gets sick and guilt trips Anastasia into going to interview the infamous Christian Grey for her. And so they meet - after she trips over her own feet and faceplants into his office.

You know, I could really start the Twilight references here. But I'll resist. Mostly because I don't want it to appear that I actually remember much from Twilight other than "idiot girl", "stalker vampire" and "creepy werewolf". Oh, and "three books too many".

Anyway, I digress.

So after that fateful meeting, he starts to...

You know what, I can't even summarize this thing without constant eyerolls so I'm stealing from Goodreads.com:

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind - until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her - but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.
  
Now that that's out of the way, my thoughts. Which can only be summed up with a gif. Because who doesn't love a gif?

The Characters:
I'm not going to go over all of the characters in the book as it's really somewhat pointless. So let's just cover the two basic ones, Bella Ana and Edward Christian.

Anastasia. I've literally written, deleted, rewritten, deleted, hit my head on the desk, rewritten and deleted my thoughts on her. As of right now, I just want to bang my head on the keyboard in reference to her and her "inner goddess" so: sdfjlawjerajfldsajfdavhnlakdjfaworuewopausljfc. There, that's what I think of Anastasia.


Christian. You know, I thought Edward Cullen was pretty bad when it came to stalker-like tendencies but Christian Grey definitely tops the sparkly vampire. In fact, I think I may have liked Christian a bit more had he actually sparkled. He was overbearing, bossy, rude, controlling and just downright creepy. And dare I even venture to say that he came off as abusive to me? I get it, BDSM can be hot but he really did make my skin crawl when he said he wanted to hurt her - and continued wanting to hurt her even though it was obvious she was terrified of his "punishments". Sorry, that doesn't fly with me. Ever.
 
I give the characters a 2 out of 10. Only because the author found at least 100 different ways to tell us he had "grey eyes". BAM.
 
 The Plot:
Ahahahahahahahaha. Oh, wait. You expected a comment here? Well, okay then.


To be honest, I think the plot had potential despite the whole Twilight reference but unfortunately it was a sinking ship before it ever sailed. The book just lacked plot. There's no nice way to say it. It was pretty much sexsexsexsex-a little bit of plot he...wait no-sexsexsexsex. And it wasn't even good sex in my opinion. Word to the wise - don't base your book off someone else's. There's a reason it's called "fanfiction". There's a reason it should stay fanfiction.

1 out of 10.

The Writing Style/Dialogue:
Defined in one word: Horrendous. At first, I honestly thought that the author was a teenager. The writing style was choppy and short. The descriptions were cheesy, overused, repetitive and fell flat after a while. And the dialogue was so painfully immature, especially Ana's inner dialogue. I winced and cringed every time I read "oh shit" and "on crap" as her thoughts. A 21 year old woman does not think like that, at least not one who ironically was going into the publishing business.

And we get it, the name of the book is "Fifty Shades of Grey". It was not necessary to constantly bring up "shades" in some form of reference. She turned # shades of red, he was # shades of f@$%d up, etc. We get it, it's a theme. It's unnecessary and more of an elementary form of description, almost as if she couldn't find a better way to describe something and used "shades" as a macro over and over again just to fill holes.

I'll be honest - I hated Stephenie Meyers' writing style. It was short and choppy as well. But compared to Miss James' writing? I'd read Twilight over and over again.

1 out of 10.
 
The Sex Scenes:  
Okay, I'm not one much for erotica. Never have been. But I can enjoy a good sex scene like the rest of the world. And since this book had been getting rave reviews of the sex scenes included, I'll admit I was looking forward to them.

Only to be sorely disappointed. They were so quick and dry. He picked her up, he entered it, he pulled her hair, he said her name, she orgasmed (another event that Miss James' loved adding cheesy adjectives to, by the way). He looked at her with his intense grey eyes, he undressed her, he touched her, she orgasmed. He hit her with a riding crop - ow, that hurt but it also felt good - she orgasmed. After a while, it was like she was climaxing on every other page when he really did nothing out of the ordinary to make her climax.

I won't even go into the event of her losing her virginity. That scene alone made me seethe. 

Also, can I just state that I really hate the use of "clitoris". That's not sexy in my opinion. I'm not saying that I want him to be "rubbing her womanly pearl" or "flicking her bud with his tongue" but come on. Give me something here. Although preferably not an "oh crap!climax". My inner goddess begs you.

1 out of 10.

I hate giving bad reviews. I really do. But I really hate being so unhappy over a book - especially one that is considered a bestseller. I don't even want to think about the movie that will come of this although at first I was worried about the rating. Not so much anymore. It was plain and simple a painful read. And a disappointing one.

Will I read the other two books? Probably not. Will I go see the movie? May wait for it to be on HBO. I definitely need an easy read after this. That was way too much work for one book. I've decided there's only one thing worse than reading "Twilight" - and that would be reading a former fanfic of "Twilight".

Laters, baby.